I found out I was pregnant in my gym toilet. Exactly 5 weeks ago today I had the abortion and was completely alone as I swallowed one tablet in my mouth and inserted the other six in my vagina. I have never felt so lonely yet so myself throughout my physical abortion, it was a traumatising yet an incredibly raw experience that I will hold on forever. I have struggled a lot since then, I had depression for the first time in my life and never thought I would not go a day without crying and relieving the memories of me flushing my embryo down the toilet. But here I am typing, knowing that I wouldn’t change anything I have been through. I definitely replayed the question “Why is this happening to me?” But the lessons I have learnt so far and the person I am becoming, I know my baby that I never met and my baby that I will meet one day will be so so proud of me.