I was seriously mentally ill and neither me nor my husband realized it. I had a psychotic break and was hospitalized for an extended period of time. My husband was on his own with two children, and I was emotionally, physically, and financially unavailable. At my second inpatient physical, it was discovered that I was pregnant. I was in a psychiatric hospital and was on so many medications that my option was pretty clear to me, my husband, and my doctor–I had to have an abortion. I left the hospital on leave for three days, had the abortion, and used it as another tool with which to beat myself. As I gradually came out of the psychosis (I am schizophrenic), I realized it was the best thing for me, my husband, and our children. I became pregnant three years later, and because I was in remission at the time, we became the proud parents of another baby boy. Our children are now 20, 26, and 29. I can’t imagine my life without them and I have no regrets at 48 about my abortion. I wouldn’t have my family or my sanity if I had continued with the pregnancy.

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