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It only takes one time! I knew that I should get my period by 9th Feb…..that date came and went – and my period didn’t. I was stressed with work, had health problems most likely related to stress, so the last thing I expected was to be pregnant. But I was. At 33, I seriously considered ALL of my options, it was my first pregnancy, having in my younger years doubted my ability to get pregnant but here I was. I was in a non-committed ‘on/off’ relationship, I had a good job but I wouldn’t get maternity leave or pay and my mum pointed out I would need to move home back to Scotland. My friends were so supportive, as was my family. I couldn’t bring children (it ended up being a twin pregnancy) in to the world under these circumstances, starting off with a broken family straight away, plus being disjointed through parents living in different countries. The guy involved was supportive, he too felt an abortion was the right thing to do but happy to go with what I wanted, but in the end we didn’t need to have that conversation as after much thought I was able to come to the decision that I needed an abortion. It was the biggest decision of my life and I still think regularly how I could have 1 year old, 2, then 3 year old twins – and my life would be so different. I will never forget those children who will never be. Not ever. I cannot wait to be a mother one day, I don’t expect the circumstances will be perfect, but I want to be in a relationship so my future child will at least have 2 loving parents from the beginning. I am so glad the decision was mine and I cannot imagine not having the choice.

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